Sometimes I wish I was wired to like people better. To be able to have meaningless conversation with whoever about whatever and not get annoyed so easily by the things they say. 

Smile back at the men eyeballing you as you walk past them at the beach. Their outline may not fit the hole in your heart, but their attention helps your bruising ego.

I think I lied to the both of us when I said I forgive you. Truth is, I cant forgive someone who has caused me permanent emotional damage. Why do I owe you forgiveness for something you knowingly did? You knew exactly what you were doing and you knew the effect your actions were going to have on me. Yet somehow you feel bad and I’m supposed to tell you that it’s okay. Well, it’s not, and it never will be.

I have these moments just seconds before I pass out where I realize that today could be my last day. I’m not afraid of dying, I’m just afraid of the effect my death will have on people. My family and friends who are dearest to me. Exes and anyone that I may have unfinished business with. People who don’t know me, but know my name. What will happen to all of them when that day comes? I don’t want to know.

Post-rock/ambient music is the closet I think I’ll ever come to a spiritual experience. I get lost in the cords/lines/sounds and how they all beautifully come together and it just brings me to such a concrete evidence of life.

Americans are getting played by the same people they voted into office and half of them don’t even know it. I don’t know whether to find that sad or hilarious.

And to all the people who are outraged by this, why not collectively protest instead of making comments about it on the internet? The fact that American people don’t know how much power they have actually bugs me. It’s like most of you have forgotten how your own system was set to work.